Confusion again pollutes my mind,

Is it over? What did I find?

How will I escape from this bind?

I struggle to fight up to the surface,

While trying to breathe my only purpose.

I have no beginning: motherless, birthless.

The walls that encompassed my little life came crumbling down,

Crushing the peasants, crushing the town.

A rumble, then not a sound.



But what is the meaning of these things that were?

The question attaches to my mind like a burr,

While the gears in my brain begin to whirr.



Upside-down, right-side up, black, now white,

My confusion struggles, and begins to fight

My sanity, which is in a sorry plight

Because I am not able

To consider and label

The cards on the table,

Which either signify my demise

Or award to me a prize

Of knowledge which will open my eyes

To the state my life is in

And I will explain to me once again

What I need to conquer this sin

That again pollutes my mind.

2 Dec 1985